Interview with a Closet

Ever wondered what your clothes would say if they could talk? Read on to “eavesdrop” on your wardrobe staples as they open up about themselves.

By Lindsay Samson

Jan 7, 2021

Staples, classics, essentials—call them what you will, they’re the building blocks of your wardrobe that serve as both reliable bases and finishing touches. They’re the dependable pieces that make day-to-night dressing that much easier and, whatever your aesthetic, are likely already to be found in your style arsenal. And though a more commonly asked question would probably be “what do your clothes say about you”, could you imagine what these pivotal pieces would say if they themselves could talk? Picture it; you turn your back and, à la Buzz, Woody and the rest of the Toy Story gang, the shirts in your closet begin to bicker over who’s worn the most, while that purse you’ve forgotten all about sits in the back reminiscing about the days when she was the favorite. But, imagined petty wardrobe in-fighting aside, wouldn't that be quite something? Read on to listen to an “interview” with five cornerstones of a well-curated closet.

the blazer

please, introduce yourself.

Firstly, I’ve been an unwavering wardrobe must-have for years, a status accrued thanks to my versatility and innate ability to smarten things up. Love though I may a good party as much as the next garment, a day at the office is my preferred excursion and, thanks once again to that aforementioned adaptability, I can bridge the gap from one to the other.

WHAT DO YOU MOST ENJOY BEING PAIRED WITH?

I truly thrive as part of a matching set; there’s something about being paired with a sister skirt or trouser that feels polished, dependable, and business-ready. I’m no one-trick pony though, as you’ll discover from my partiality to the classic vintage blue jeans and t-shirt combo that incorporates me.

Why do you think we come back to you season after season?

I suppose I bring a level of sophistication to the table that’s uniquely my own. Whether I’m in a more menswear-inspired cut, or in a more feminine silhouette that accentuates the waist, you can rely on me to ensure that you always exude an air of confidence.

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the leather bag

how would you describe yourself?

Not to toot my own horn or anything (ok, to toot my own hown a little bit): I like to think of myself as an indispensable investment piece, an entity that deserves careful consideration before purchasing. And sure, I can be a bit pricey sometimes (and fine, maybe a touch snobby too) but that’s just because fine craftsmanship and quality materials are integral to who I am.

Who are your go-to companions?

Honestly, I’m not fussed at all. I think that’s one of my best qualities. I work well with everything, but it’s my presence that tends to elevate an outfit’s level of polish. I can be grabbed one is heading out in that fresh sweat suit and sneakers, and I am just as comfortable as an elegant evening dress’ plus one.

What gives you staying power?

It’s simple really: I’m a fail-safe classic that’s durable, and in it for the long haul. Plus, there are always new versions of me to play with. So whether you’re partial to brilliant, vivid versions of me, or prefer my trusty, neutral-hued form, I’ll always be the outfit add-on that simply can’t be done without.

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The Button Down Shirt

What’s your defining characteristic?

I hate to admit it, but I’m something of a people pleaser. My priority is flexibility, with comfort and practicality coming in a close second. I try to be everything to everybody. On hot days, when comfortable and cool styles are called for, my oversized iterations exude undone chic, and when more tailored cuts called for, I am on hand to dial up the sophistication.

Of these situations you mention, do you have a personal preference?

That depends on you, really. I can be impeccably sharp or the perfect addition to a messy-chic look. Tucked into a high-waisted skirt is one of favorite ways to deliver on feminine refinement and evening elegance. But, throw me over a crop top and leggings, and I’ll show you I can do easy-going simplicity just as well!

Why can’t people get enough of you?

I think I’m something of a wardrobe non-negotiable, don’t you? I blend pretty seamlessly into most looks, but my status as a layering hero, I think, is unmatched. Try me beneath a shift dress or a crew-neck sweater for a preppy look that’s perfect for chillier days.

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The Jumpsuit

How would you define yourself?

Me? I’m the best of all worlds; I am a marriage of style, comfort, and ease. When I am around, one need not worry about mixing and matching tops and bottoms because I am a head-to-toe, all-in-one wonder! I am the closet workhorse that makes your work easy.

If you had to choose your accessories, what would they be?

I am OBSESSED with heeled mules and straw boater hats right now. They’re both uber chic, and absolute fire when paired with my lightly colored, summer-ready forms. My more utilitarian iterations on the other hand, well, they don’t need more than a classic, flat sandal and on-trend backpack to really pop.

What’s your biggest selling point?

I’m the one-stop dressing solution everyone needs! And once you’ve experienced the simplicity of just zipping/buttoning up and going, you just know I’ll prove irresistible everytime. Not to mention that there’s a style to suit everyone—from overalls and boiler suits, to more figure-hugging, belted fits, I really can do it all.

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The Statement Earring

What would you say is your raison d'être?

Oh darling, I live for the applause; for the drama! But you knew that! As the essential final flourish they always turned to for that instant dose of glamor, what else would you expect? Drenched in gold, bedecked with precious jewels, fashioned from unusual materials! Sweetie, I come as all sorts. I’m the piece you pick out when you’re looking to turn heads or exude a particular je ne sais quoi.

With whom do you like to share top billing in a full look?

Nobody! J’adore grand showmanship and being the icing on top of a simple cake, so make me the center of attention, I always say. Just imagine the spice I add to the little black dress or other monochrome look? So yes, I like my outfit pairings muted, cheri, because I, darling, am a STAR and a star does not share the limelight!

Why do you think your fans love you?

Well, darling? Wouldn’t you? Look at me! I refuse to bend to trends. I am a thing of gleaming, gilded, and timeless beauty. I endure. I endure, darling. And you know why? Because as Keats put it, “a thing of beauty is a joy forever,” and I am a thing of immense beauty, darling. I’ll be passed right on down to your progeny like the heirloom that I so obviously am!

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